We’ve just passed Valentine’s Day. Me and my wife never really take notice of Valentine’s Day. This year, we actually thought about going away for the day, but in the end just being home and having a quiet Sunday won hands down.

A couple of days later, my eldest — about to turn thirteen — out of the blue asked us when we sat together before dinner: “Are you guys still in love?”

True to her female side, my wife immediately replied: “Of course yes!”

True to my male side, I replied: “Of course not.”

Oops. The stares burned holes through my being.

I tried to recover with an innocent question: “What do you mean with ‘in love’?”

“Well, do you feel awkward when you see each other, and think about each other all the time when you are apart?”

“Nope,” I replied. My wife’s glance prompted a swift response.

“You are referring to being in love, yes. But we’re past that. We simply love each other. The difference is this: We do not feel awkward when we see each other, but when we don’t see each other. And we do not think of each other all the time when we are apart, but when we are together, we think ahead about not being together…”

“Sweet…” replied my teenage daughter. My wife’s smile confirmed my recovery.

Afterward I thought about what I said (a typical male, I know). And I realized that it actually makes a lot of sense, and that it’s true. Loving someone turns the table from being ‘in love’. Being together becomes the norm, and being apart becomes the weird part.

I think being in love is the lift-off that the spaceship needs. But staying the course on the long journey in space is what makes it all worthwhile.

This is a time where a lot of people are seriously into “sensing”. You hear and read a lot about “sensing and feeling”. Spirituality comes to the forefront as a lot more sensing than thinking. I am learning to sense. To use my senses. To “come to my senses”. To be sensible.

Most of all, we need to get a sense of life. We need to learn to read the signs of the times – which is a lot more sensing than anything else. It is something that is caught, more than taught.

I had the privilege to have many guests share my home in the past couple of years. Many of them foreigners – mainly from the USA. All of them became friends… some very close friends.

I just had a great time of fun and laughter, learning and discussion, chilling out and being serious, with two new friends from the States. They taught me a lot about Christ, His church, community, the Bible, people etc. But most of all, the sensibility of having fun – always. I had so much fun woven through the work we did, that the work was also more fun than ever.

They taught me to sense things in a very new and different way.

One sense that they have more than most other guests that I have received, is a sense of humour. They can laugh! They love to make fun. To create it. To sustain it. They have a sense of the importance of laughing, playing, having fun, chilling out, hanging, just being.

Religion made us “serious”. Spirituality makes us “deep”. Maybe a good dose of regular humour is exactly what we need to become human again.

I sensed a lot of their spirituality and wisdom more through their sense of humour than I did through a sense of seriousness.

I am sensing something new. Something beautiful. Something that you must sense, before you will see it.

I think I sense freedom of another kind.

Thanks Frankie V and “Joey” R. You’re good fellas. “This is what I was talkin about all this time.”

More often than not, when part of a planning initiative, project start-up, or new venture, the following words are uttered: “Let’s just not reinvent the wheel.” And then everybody nods slowly to affirm this very deep wisdom.

I also found that the moment those words are spoken, it’s like blowing out the candle of creativity and initiative. Hhmm…

I’m not at all sure that this statement is a sign of wisdom… at all. I mean, why on earth would anybody who is in anyway informed want to reinvent something that already exists? Someone who reinvents anything, is simply doing so out of ignorance.

We need to distinguish between the necessity of new inventions, and the absolute necessity of new designs. Any creative mind will always strive to keep on redesigning. And we absolutely need to do so. It’s being well informed, that leads to new designs. The more you know, the more you know what’s needed.

We can’t reinvent leadership, but we constantly need to redesign it.
New day, new leader.
We can’t reinvent parenting, but we constantly need to redesign it.
New day, new parent.
We can’t reinvent humanity, but we constantly need to redesign it.
New day. New world.
We can’t reinvent ourselves, but we constantly need to redesign ourselves.
New day. New me.

We can’t reinvent the gospel of shalom (wholeness).
But I’m absolutely convinced that we need to constantly redesign it.

New day. New hope.

[So, before you ask the "reinvention-question" ever again, first make sure you are part of a group of inventors... and not designers.]

There’s something about a display of energy that attracts people. Be it a powerful display of sound (music), water (waterfalls), wind (tornadoes), electricity (lightning), or explosions (demolitions) — it’ll always have spectator value.

One such controlled-energy display that’s already a festivity tradition worldwide, is fireworks. Associated with parties end celebrations, fireworks light up the sky at New-Year’s celebrations, on Christmas Eve, at birthday parties and sports events. The colorful display combined with the sounds of explosion is simply spectacular. (The best live display of fireworks I ever saw was at Disneyland in California…)

There’s another spectacular and very explosive display of controlled energy and force that always draws a crowd… the launching of a rocket. Especially the major rockets that launches into space, onwards toward the moon or Mars — those ones are not only something that make all the eyes in the area look in the same direction — it’s always broadcast live over television to millions of viewers worldwide.

Both these displays have energy in common.
Fire.
Sound.
Light.
Smoke.

But there’s one major difference between rockets and fireworks: After the “wow” is over, only one of the two still has a purpose. And that purpose is a destination…

Fireworks has a purpose. Its purpose is to “wow” and entertain. Its purpose is the spectacle of controlled energy. The show. And after the show is over, the burned out sticks are picked up by kids… useless. Rockets have a purpose too. Its purpose is a destination. A target. But it also delivers a spectacular show of controlled energy at the start. And when the spectacle is over, the mission has only started… destination Mars.

This is also true in the world of programs, marketing, selling, training, leadership, media, religion, and many others. Some exist for the “wow”. Others look far beyond the spectacle, towards the destination. Locked onto target. Mission go.

When someone tries to ‘woo’ you with an idea, a program, a vision or a product, always try to discern if they are selling you rockets or fireworks. Fireworks can be very spectacular and amazing — but then that must be what you are looking for — and mere entertainment must be your goal. The problem is that most salespeople, politicians, trainers, consultants, clergy, talk-show hosts, therapists, lawyers, or evangelists of some kind, will try to sell you a destination, but deliver only a show.

Three years ago I made a value based decision, after being in the “religious fireworks industry” for nearly ten years: That I will never again promote fireworks as rockets, and never again promise a destination, but only deliver a show. This decision had one major and immediate effect: it marginalized me from the mainstream. Because the mainstream — unfortunately — is in it for the colorful display of controlled energy and force, and not for the intensive and focused mission that follows after the launch. I even branded a mantra for my new found value: “I don’t do models. I am a sculptor.”

An outer space destination-based rocket launch will always be on every body’s lips. But at the end, there are very few astronauts.

Most are satisfied with a firework display that simply “wow’s” the crowd.